Rejection Letters

The real sign of blog neglection (and I may have just made this word up) is when I have to enter in a couple of different passwords because it has been so long since I have logged into this site that my password is no longer saved. So, after an embarrassingly long time away, I am excited to dust off my keyboard and start writing a little bit again.

I recently finished reading Marie Forleo’s Everything is Figureoutable (and I saw her speak! With Brene Brown!) and it really lit a spark in me to make more time for what I feel is important to me. And typically, I would be the first to tell you that I am already so crunched for time that something just has to give, and this blog just can’t compete with the other tasks vying for my time. But when I read this book, and there were many, many pages that stuck with me – I highly recommend this book – there were a couple of quotes that have yet to leave my mind.

Really, the concept behind these quotes is something that I have preached for years, but mainly to and about other people, when really I am the one who should take this message to heart. Every single person on this planet is busy, and if writing is important to me, I will make the time for it.

So, here I am. This is probably my favorite time of year because the weather is finally, finally starting to get cool(ish), college football is in full swing, I feel like I am finally really getting to know each of my students and getting into a groove with my schedule, and it is when I get to introduce my favorite writing assignment of the year. And I get so much energy from the process that goes along with this assignment.

 I know I have posted about this assignment before on F&F, but each year I look so forward to introducing the This I Believe essay to my students. It is a chance for them to gain some confidence in their writing skills as we move into tackling STAAR-style essays, and selfishly, it is a chance for me to get to know my students on a deeper, more personal level, giving them a safe space to open up about who they are and what matters to them.

And this year I took a little bit more time to set the stage – taking the time to complete some Brene Brown Core Values work, various writing responses and personality tests, and of course, sharing sample This I Believe essays. If you were to Google “This I Believe”, you would get thousands of hits. I always share a couple of strong essays with my students, and then I take the time to write and share my own This I Believe essay, explaining to my students that if I am asking them to be vulnerable and share their stories with me, I can model those expectations by sharing my story with them.

The share date snuck up on me a bit this year, so I did not get to spend as much time as I would have liked on my essay, but it was a really powerful moment for me to stand up and share this with my students, and I am hopeful that they found it to be just as meaningful.

I believe in rejection letters.

And the number 34 is one that will remain etched in my mind as I begin training for what will be my fourth full marathon. ‘Marathon’ is a word that causes many to cringe, and elicits many, “You’re crazy. I could never run that far”, or, “I don’t know how you do it” comments. I cannot deny that perhaps I am a little bit crazy, because to me, there is nothing better than being awake before the rest of the city, having the entire Rice Jogging Trail to myself while watching the rising sun paint stripes of pink and yellow and orange across the sky as I log mile after mile in the typically warm and humid Houston air, eventually catching a glimpse of other runners while on my second or third loop.

Running allows me to feel free while at the same time tapping into my competitive side, pushing myself to be better than I was yesterday. I have always been one to chase big goals, quite literally in this case, and a few years ago, I set a really big goal of qualifying for the Boston Marathon. Most marathons let you in if you simply agree to pay the entry fee – yes, we pay good money to experience some real pain – but the only way to gain entry into this particular race is by running fast enough.

So I threw myself into my training – running six days a week, wondering if I had lost my mind as I sat in bed rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and eating my pre-run banana and peanut butter after waking up in the early part of the 4 o’clock hour to get in some speed work before a full day of teaching, followed by an evening of coaching.

I swore off any food that I didn’t deem healthy. I said no to many things that might have caused me to sacrifice precious sleep. I even brought my own meal to my family Thanksgiving dinner after my dad assured me that he was absolutely not going to cater to my dairy-free, gluten free, some may say fun-free, diet. But he was out there cheering me on marathon morning all the same.

And on January 14^th, 2018, I ran a marathon time that would qualify me for this prestigious race. It was a day I will cherish for the rest of my life, feeling like the hours of hard work and sacrifice truly paid off. But just eight months later, the Boston Athletic Association informed me that I wasn’t quite fast enough to gain entry into the 2019 race.

There is a cutoff to the cutoff, you see, and I was 76 seconds shy. I let myself pout for a quick minute before tightening the laces on my Brooks and throwing my hair back into its signature braid, choosing to get back up and start the cycle all over again. And on November 18^th, 2018, I ran a time I had been training to run all along, again qualifying for the Boston Marathon, this time with an even greater sense of accomplishment knowing that I had not let this initial rejection get the best of me.

But when I checked my email on September 25^th, 2019, I learned that, for the second year in a row, my fast wasn’t quite fast enough. This time, though, I missed the cutoff to the cutoff by just 34 seconds.

It’s hard to put into words how that kind of rejection sinks in, knowing all of the work that I had put in to make this dream a reality. For the second time. Admittedly, it is a tough pill to swallow. To think back on every nailed workout on tired legs, every 4:30am alarm, every “no” I gave because I was so locked into achieving this goal. It’s hard not to wonder where I could have given just a little bit more.

I feel as though I could write a book about all that running has taught me, but as I took a few steps back and really reflected on the greatest lesson running has given me thus far, it’s perseverance, and the importance of showing up. In the dark. In the rain. In 100% humidity or in 30 degree winter weather. As cliché as it sounds, great things take time, and this big goal of mine isn’t going anywhere.

Tomorrow, I will wake up and tackle my next training run, keeping those rejection letters, that are taped to my bedroom mirror, at the forefront of my mind, trusting that with each step, I am inching that much closer to my goal.

Perseverance through setbacks and failure isn’t easy, but I think about how much sweeter the moment will be when I do get to run this historic race. And more importantly, I think about how much more equipped I am to handle any sort of difficulty that is thrown my way. It takes grit and determination to overcome any obstacle, and these rejection letters have taught me to always choose to persevere.

This was a very raw experience for me to share, as I learned of this “failure” just two weeks ago, and it is not something I had shared with many people prior to this, even with those who are very close to me. However, I felt it to be incredibly important for me to share, and unsurprisingly, I found the writing process to be helpful in giving me some uninterrupted time to process my thoughts and emotions as they related to this experience. It has been really easy for me to put a smile on my face and say that I am going to come back even stronger this next training cycle, while still feeling like all that I gave to this effort was not quite enough. That I am not quite enough.

Post Philly Marathon with my cousins

But through putting words down on paper, or Word Document, if you will, I was able to come to the conclusion that I really am in a place where I am grateful for the chance to keep fighting and prove to myself just how mentally tough I am. For the chance to better myself and not settle for anything less than my best, even if I have no idea what my best is.

I chose to share this story with my students because running is something that means so much to me, and I am glad to be able to share that part of me with them, but even more than that, I think perseverance is such an important word for high school students, especially freshmen, to deeply understand. They are going to face many obstacles and setbacks throughout the course of these four years – and beyond – and the harder they can lean into perseverance, the better equipped they are going to be to process them and continue to move forward. It has become common practice for millennials to give up when things don’t go our way (if I could insert an eyeroll emoji here, I would), but for students today, because they have so many other options and activities available to them at the touch of a button, it’s really easy to give up what’s not going well in favor of giving something else a try. I don’t think that’s always the wrong idea, necessarily, as it can take trying a couple of different things to find what it is you are passionate about, but giving up should never be the immediate reaction.

I may not experience Boston until I am 80 years old, when the time I have to run in order to qualify is slightly slower, but I can guarantee you that I will not let go of this goal. Because when I do achieve it, it is something I will be able to look back on the next time I hit a bump in the road. I know that much of who I am is because of the many ways in which I have had to persevere, and I am hopeful that by sharing my story with my students, they can grasp the importance of that as well.

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving to any of the readers that I might have left after yet another long hiatus from the f&f scene. But to say that this first semester has been crazy would be an understatement. I don’t know that I have ever been more ready for a break, and I know that I am not alone in that. Don’t get me wrong, this semester has been full of so many good things, but man, I feel like I have been running 100 miles per hour this entire first semester, yet I’m barely managing to stay half a step ahead of all that needs to get done. But I’m confident that this break – and the fact that I put school work aside after a full Monday of grading expository essays – is going to leave me feeling refreshed, refocused, and recharged to tackle the remaining four weeks of school with my freshmen.

Anyway, Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday because it’s such a great reminder that I truly have so much to be thankful for. It comes at a time when I am tired and worn out and definitely not outwardly expressing my daily gratitude, and probably doing more complaining than anything, so Thanksgiving allows me to put my complaints to the side and reflect on just how much good there is in each day.

This year's thankful board

So, here goes another year of what I’m thankful for. I’ll try and encompass everything that’s been going on in my life since my last post, without giving a play-by-play of what’s been going on in my life since my last post.

It goes without saying that I am thankful for my parents. They are my rocks, and I’m not sure how I would have made it to this point without them. First, they so generously agree to watch my sweet pup throughout volleyball season, as my long hours away from home during those few months just wouldn’t be fair. They answer my every phone call, and they calm me down when I start losing my cool. Which, let’s be real, happened quite a few times this semester. In fact, when I called them feeling completely overwhelmed with everything I had on my plate, wondering how I was possibly going to cross everything off my never-ending to-do list without sacrificing too much sleep, they swooped in to help without even a moment’s hesitation. My dad did all my grocery shopping so that I would have a fully stocked fridge for the week ahead. He took a bulging basket of dirty laundry back home to my mom, who happily did all of it and delivered it back to me the very next day. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. And though they don’t necessarily understand what goes into all the running that I do, they always, always ask me how each run went.

Part of the reason I could never leave Houston is because I love having them just 20 minutes down the road. It’s always nice to know that I can always take the Westpark Tollway home, and probably be treated to dinner at Hungry’s.

I’m thankful for my incredible friends, who I haven’t seen as much as I maybe would have liked because right now, I’m hyper focused on this whole running thing. That they know my personality and that when I focus on some task or goal, I tend do whatever it takes to achieve it. That I’ve had to say “No” to a number of things along the way. And that’s hard for me, not because I particularly care about missing out on something, but because I don’t want my friends to think that I don’t care about them. But they still show up and they still call on me and they make sure to tell me I’m doing a good job. And I probably don’t tell them enough just how much they mean to me, but I’ll never stop being thankful for their listening ears and the endless laughter they provide.

 

 

This year, I am especially thankful for the city I call home. The city that I grew up in and that I share with millions of truly incredible people who were more than willing to lend a helping hand. A city that was absolutely devastated by 51 inches of rain, but that fought back with resilience and love, proving to the rest of the country and to the world that it is very possible to put aside any differences we may have and lend a helping hand. I wrote a lot about my thoughts on Harvey here, but I’ll always hold onto the fact that we are #HoustonStrong, and we showed everyone that you can never count out Houston, which brings me to my next point –


I am thankful for the unifying power of sports. I’m 100% talking about the Houston Astros, because this year, our hometown heroes absolutely #EarnedHistory. And it could not have happened at a better time. The Astros gave so many in this city something to hold onto; something to put their hope in. I know that I was brought to tears multiple times when interviews of the players after games focused very little on themselves, but instead harped on the idea that they were playing to bring happiness to the people of their city. I mean, they had photos of the devastation Harvey caused taped to the inside of their lockers so that they never lost sight of what was truly important. How can you not root for a team like that? And after living through the Lastros and the Diasastros era, this World Series victory was everything we could have hoped for and more. The games were purely fun to watch, though every minute was stressful, and it has been amazing to see the lifted spirits of my fellow Houstonians.

Throwback to 2010 and the red and black

I am thankful for pep talks and second chances and fall weather and surprise double rainbows and First Friday and harmless pranks and my fellow English teacher who stops by my room EVERY morning without fail with a “How’s it going, Pickles?” and stays for a few minutes just to chat. For group chats and the means to travel and opportunities to learn and grow each day.

I am thankful for meaningful conversations and handwritten notes and encouraging words and people who invest in me and who take the time to pull me aside and make sure that the smile I’m wearing is authentic, and not one that I’m simply hiding behind.

 

I am thankful for people who encourage me to dream big and chase goals and stretch myself in every area of my life. For library chats and donated pencils and Harry Potter marathons and dairy-free chocolate, because what would a day be like without it?

 

 

I couldn’t do a thankful post without talking about the fact that I definitely don’t take having a healthy body for granted. Most days these days are run days, and I can always be thankful for legs that continue to allow me to run. I cherish the well-executed runs that leave me feeling on top of the world and that all the hard work and sacrifice is so worth it, and I’m thankful for the failed runs that humble me and remind me that I can always work harder and smarter. Running has taught me discipline and focus and how to push myself and a whole lot about expectations and goals. I truly love this sport – the reminder to dig deep and the “me time” it provides, and I’m thankful for all that it has given me over the years – especially this last year and a half. I’m thankful for those who believe in me when I don’t believe in myself, and for a coach who shows absolutely no mercy when it comes to this seemingly crazy training plan, but also makes sure to tell me that I’m doing a good job every once in a while. I’ll continue to run as long as I love doing it, and I hope to never take it for granted that I can.

 

 

Chasing big goals, and being rewarded with an even bigger medal

I’m thankful for my job that, most of the time, doesn’t feel like a job. Whenever I tell people that I teach freshmen, they give me this look and say something along the lines of, “You’re so brave.” And that might be true, but I also know that I’ve got what I consider to be the best role anyone could have. I get to start out each day with a plan, never knowing what wrench is going to be thrown into it. Because there’s always going to be one. I get to stand among 128 students each day, talking about reading and writing and real-world issues, trying to help light the fire that’s already inside all of them. I get to listen to their stories, believe in, encourage, and challenge them, and hopefully be a bright spot in at least one of their days. Because they are definitely bright spots in mine. They make me laugh no matter what kind of day I’m having, and they truly mean the world to me. I get to stand outside my door each passing period and greet all of my current and former students, remembering that my crazy freshmen will one day mature. And though I’ll groan and grumble about having 128 essays to give feedback to, I’m thankful that they’re turning their work in.

 

 

 

And my job wouldn't be my job without the people I have around me. I work with some pretty stellar people who encourage me and push me and help me and ask the hard questions and want the best for our students. And I couldn't ask for much more than that.

 

 

 

I’m thankful that I get to wear multiple hats within Bellaire High School – that of a teacher and a coach. Volleyball has always meant so much to me, and I’ll never take for granted the sport that gives me infinitely more as a coach than it gave me as a player. And it gave me a lot as a player. Every year, when I get really overwhelmed with teaching and coaching and … adulting … I am reminded how much of a privilege coaching is. Sure, I get to help these girls improve their volleyball skills – and trust me, it’s amazing the progress each one of them makes from day one of freshmen camp to our final game – but even more than that I can help foster an environment of teamwork and hard work and inclusivity and positivity and focus and energy and determination and drive and encouragement. Every year I’m blown away by what these girls bring to the table, and my work day just wouldn’t be complete without them.

 

 

I’m thankful for neighbors, who, when you send out a post about desperately needing a bookshelf for your classroom (because this is the current situation),

 

 

more than come through. I’m thankful to be a Texas Longhorn (we’re going bowling, heck yeah!), for sunshine, for car insurance, that I can hold myself to a stand of grace and not perfection, for Wednesday phone calls with Gram, and that my brother nailed down a job in Houston post-graduation.

 

 

Finally, I’m thankful for who I consider to be the cutest dog in the world. My little Mack brings a tremendous amount of joy to my life, and I really don’t know what we did to deserve dogs. He has never met a dog or a person he doesn’t like, he brings a smile to the face of every person he passes on the street, and he is always down for a long walk through the neighborhood. He makes himself comfortable all up in my personal space, he begs for food like I don’t ever feed him, and he adds endless love and excitement to each day. He brings a smile to my face when I need it the most, and I’m a better person for being the owner of this floppy-eared nutcase.

 

 

 

And hopefully, I’ll continue to be thankful every other day of the year, too. I’ve found myself doing quite a bit of complaining lately, so I am determined to finish out this year with a “get to” mentality as opposed to a “have to” mentality. The mindset we bring to the table is half the battle, and expressing gratitude is such a little thing that can go such a long way.

 

 

I hope you and your loved ones have a fabulous Thanksgiving! I’m going to power down and enjoy time with my family and friends, and though this year we’re gathering around a table in a house hit by Harvey, I think I’ve got more to be thankful for than ever. And I can’t end this post without telling my readers how thankful I am that you guys still read my posts, as they tend to be few and far between these days. I love pressing pause on the chaos around me and sitting down to write, and the encouragement I get from the people who read f&f are the real MVPs.

Things I'm Loving Friday LVII

Happy FriYAY! It has been a crazy week of volleyball tryouts and two-a-days, and now we head out to Cypress to compete day one of the pre-season scrimmages. It's kind of a whirlwind trying to get freshman ready to compete in this fast-paced introduction to the world high school volleyball, but I'm excited to see what today brings. And while I'm doing that, enjoy some of the things I'm loving this week!

Run Fast, Eat Slow
When a four-time Olympian and American record holder (Shalene Flanagan) joins forces with a chef and nutrition coach (Elyse Kopecky) to create a beautiful cookbook full of healthy recipes for athletes, you know you have to check it out. This cookbook features step-by-step recipes that really squash the idea that eating healthy has to be boring and bland, or that you have to follow some strict, joyless diet. There are so many misconceptions out there when it comes to fueling your body, especially for females, and this cookbook is full of recipes that show you that it's okay to indulge while giving your body the right nutrients. The photos are fantastic, these two women looked like they had the time of their lives writing this book, and each recipe is Shalene-tested and approved.

Cult of Pedagogy Podcast
Okay, maybe only my teachers will be interested in this one, but honestly I think there are episodes that any parent or businessperson can also relate to. I've mentioned before on the blog that I'm not a huge podcast listener. Like it really has to engage me for me to continue listening. And this one absolutely does. I know people love podcasts because they can listen to them while they're driving, but with this podcast all I want to do is write down everything I hear, so it works best for me when I listen to it while walking my dog. Anyway, this podcast series has so many fantastic ideas - from classroom management to teaching strategies to personal wellness to the use of technology - and each episode I have listened to has left me feeling nothing but energized for the upcoming school year. Jennifer Gonzalez is upbeat, gives practical ideas and advice, and keeps me coming back for more. Definitely worth a listen, even if you're someone who claims to not be a "podcast person".

(Source)

I only just started listening a couple of days ago, but here are a couple episodes I loved:
   Episode 33: Five Powerful Ways to Save Time as a Teacher
   Episode 57: Nine Simple Solutions for Common Teaching Problems
   Episode 60: Six Ed Tech Tools to Try in 2017
   Episode 67: What to Do on Lame Duck School Days
   Episode 71: Why It's So Hard for Teachers to Take Care of Themselves

Gatorade Commercial: The Secret to Victory

I'm not sure how I missed this commercial when it first came out, but ever since I saw it on TV a couple of weeks ago, I have been all about it. It features star athletes such as Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, and Serena Williams, among others. The whole message is if you want to find success, you first have to experience failure. MJ not making his varsity team. Manning going 3-13 in his rookie season. Williams being on the wrong side of the biggest upset in her sport. But aren't these names some of the biggest in sports? Using failure to fuel growth has kind of been my mantra lately, and this commercial did nothing but get me pumped for volleyball season, the new school year, and marathon training.

Russ Rose: Commitment
Russ Rose is a legend in the college volleyball world. And rightfully so. He has coached his Penn State team to seven national championships and has earned the respect of so many across the country. And when Russ Rose was asked to pick one word for "The Word on Coaching" series, his word of choice was COMMITMENT. He talks about being all-in, about being focused on the end goal and distancing yourself from distractions. Of course, he's talking about the work his athletes put in on the volleyball court, but it applies to so many areas of life. If you want to be the best you can be, you've got to commit. I think the best compliment I have received as of late is someone telling me he has always been impressed by my commitment to my training. Maybe I'm not the best runner out there, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to reach my goal. Whether that's with running, teaching, coaching, being a dog mom, whatever. If you want to be the best, get out there and work hard. It's not supposed to be easy.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: The Illustrated Edition
It is no secret that I am a Harry Potter junkie. Like I have to tell myself that there are so many books out there that I want to read and while I will most definitely get something new out of re-reading the Harry Potter series for the umpteenth time, it's probably not the best use of my time. BUT then I was introduced to the illustrated editions of each Harry Potter book and you guys, they are absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I am trying to be good and only purchase one of them at a time (as of today, only Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of Secrets have been released), but these are going to make a most excellent addition to my coffee table. And I might even bring them up to school for some of my more reluctant readers. Obviously these books are wonderful for any age (because 25 is not too old to read a picture book), but these would be perfect if you are looking to open up the magical world of reading to a young one. Bravo, Jim Kay, for so beautifully bringing the wizarding world to life.

Have a fabulous Friday!

Make the Change

It’s always so hard for me to open up blogger after a hiatus like this. Granted, this is definitely not my longest hiatus, but remember that time I made a goal for myself that I would write one post a week? I applaud myself for sticking to that for four months, but here I am, a month after my last post. But, May got crazy, as May typically does, and blogging was the first thing to go. And you would think that because it’s summer vacation I would be able to do this on a more consistent basis, but I took one look at my bank account and told myself that if I want to continue traveling and running (because whoever said running is cheap therapy has definitely not bought a new pair of running shoes or a new watch or the myriad of accessories that go along with this "cheap" sport lately), okay, and shopping at Anthropologie – so sue me – I better suck it up and teach at least a little bit of summer school.

So, while it was certainly no three-week trek through the beautiful country of Argentina, I managed to keep myself busy by teaching what I like to call STAAR Boot Camp. It was draining, to say the least, but I appreciated being able to stick to a regular routine. I got up to walk Mack, hopped in the shower because we’re at the point in the year where any sort of physical activity requires a change of clothes, and upon arriving home, took the pup on yet another walk before parking it on the couch in preparation to hit either the running trail or the pool. These summer temps have encouraged me to bring back the one-piece tan, but have really messed with my running training plan. But I'll save that for later.

Anyway, just because I was on the work grind doesn’t mean I haven’t allowed myself to have a little fun this summer. I cultured myself by visiting the Ron Mueck exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts (and displayed my maturity level when I absolutely could not handle the sculpture of a woman giving birth),

Natalie puts the size of these sculptures into perspective

as well as the Pixel Forest exhibit, which was much more up my alley.

I have finished reading seven books and am starting in on my eighth,

I wrapped up another season of sand volleyball with Team Practice Safe Sets (we went out of the playoffs in a most disappointing fashion, but we will certainly be back), and a couple of weekends ago one of my college roommates came to town and four out of nine members of the Clubhouse were able to reunite and spend the weekend catching up with one another. I had a lot of fun being a tourist in my own city – we ate a lot of delicious food, did a little bit of shopping, spent some time relaxing by the pool, and we even sat front row at River Oaks Theater (we had a little too much fun at dinner, whoops!) – a Houston landmark.

I have spent some time cleaning up my apartment, I’ve done a good amount of dog- and house-sitting (if you need a laugh, ask me to tell you the story of how I locked myself out of the house and had to climb the fence in the pouring rain),

I have done a little bit of planning (read: brainstorming) for this upcoming school year, and I have even done a little bit of work in the kitchen. I like to think that I’ll get these recipes posted, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here.

Anyway, now for the meat of this post. I know, I’m long-winded. But earlier I mentioned that my runs were suffering as what I think is a direct result of the weather. If you have never visited Houston, just know that summer means two things: hot and humid. And rain, which only adds to the humidity. Man, I couldn’t do anything. My heart rate would skyrocket at even the slowest paces, and I had a hard time running consecutive miles under what I would normally consider to be a moderate pace. And if I did manage to do that, I would stop and walk before starting the next mile because my whole body was just shot. I began dreading each workout – forget about the Brooks tagline to “run happy”. That was not happening. And it definitely showed on my face. I started getting inside my own head and really started doubting my big goal: Boston.

My first ever race

I did not want to take to the treadmill. I don’t know what it was, but the treadmill more than intimidated me. Actually, I do know what it was. I was scared of what the treadmill would tell me about my running ability. As much as I hated running in 80+ degree weather with a dew point almost as high, I liked having the weather as an excuse for why I couldn’t do a workout. That sounds horrible when I put it on paper, but our minds are a funny thing.

The views are nice, though

At some point I realized that I was tired of using the weather as an excuse for why I couldn't do a workout. It’s like this headline flashed across my brain: You've lived in the great state of Texas for all 25 years of your life, and there's zero chance that it's going to get any cooler. Either you're going to stop pouting about it, or you're going to have to change something. 

I was also tired of having to do an entire outfit change in the middle of my long runs that were literally happening at a snail's pace because I was so sweaty. Nobody has time for that much laundry, you feel me? Anyway, once I admitted these things out loud, and I was told that the weather outside should scare me more than the treadmill does, I decided to make the change. I pushed fear to the side and picked a treadmill at the gym. And while I am still wiping up an impressive amount of sweat, this seemingly simple change has made such a difference. Instead of feeling defeated before and after a run, I feel strong. I know that I've got a long way to go when it comes to achieving my ultimate goal of qualifying for Boston, but not only have I actually logged some good miles, my confidence in my running ability has done a 180. I’ve made a change and I’m starting to see results. I even got an "A" after reporting back on how today's workout went. Funny how that works.

Also, shout out to my girl Taylor for finally releasing all of her songs on Spotify. That was huge.

I talk a lot about running on my blog because it's a huge part of my life. It's not my entire life, but it has taught me a lot of lessons that can be applied to other areas of my life. Such as teaching and coaching, which makes up another large chunk of the Kelli Tomlinson puzzle. I have a couple of “big goals” for this upcoming school year, but one of them is that when something isn't working, make a change. If my students aren't engaged, or if they aren't understanding something one way or if I find myself doing something “just to do it”, it’s on me to do something about that. With running, the “easy” thing for me to do was run my familiar tree-lined route, knowing in the back of my mind that I had a ready-made excuse for why it didn’t go well. The hard thing for me to do was turn on the treadmill and crank out a tempo run at a pace that I hadn’t seen in awhile.

It's so easy, especially during volleyball season, for me to do what has always been done with the curriculum. It’s all right there for me, and it doesn’t require a ton of effort on my part. But I want to challenge myself to make whatever learning happens in room 327 relevant and powerful. I want them to get something out of it and not just feel as though they are doing busywork. I want them to learn how to think critically and know that it’s okay to struggle and work outside their comfort zones. I feel as though some of my high school years were wasted – I spent so much time worrying about the grade I received on an assignment that I couldn’t tell you half of what I learned in some of the most interesting courses. There’s a whole world out there just waiting to be discovered – and so many of my students are ready to take on the challenge! – but in order for that to happen, changes have to be made. That's not to say that it will always be easy. Or that progress will always be immediate. I've run enough miles to know that not all of them are going to leave me feeling like I can conquer the world. But if we want to see results, we've got to at least give it a try.