This I Believe

Every year I tell myself I’m going to keep up with my blog during the chaos of volleyball season, and every year I fail to keep that promise. I tend to forget just how crazy my schedule is at the start of the school year, and blogging is without a doubt the first thing to go. And I wish I could say I was busy doing all these crazy exciting things, but I’m just trying to keep my head above water with all that I’ve got on my plate. I’m not sure what has prevented me from getting a firm grasp on my schedule this year, but I've definitely had a tougher time of it.

And I plan on – one day in the near future – writing a whole post that gives an update on how my fourth (my first year kiddos are seniors!!!) year of teaching is going,

the whole point of logging back into my blogger account is to share what is, without a doubt, my favorite essay of the year: This I Believe. I have posted about it before, but I think this year’s due date came at the perfect time. I love that this essay is our first big writing assignment of the year because it allows me to get a glimpse into my students’ writing skills, yes, but even more than that, it allows me to get to know them in such a way that I learn what matters to each one of them. It offers them the opportunity to share with me a story or an experience that has led to that belief. And man, do I get some incredible stories. They are real and raw and vulnerable and funny and passionate and every year I am truly humbled that they are so willing to share their stories with me. Because their stories matter. I was grumbling about the nearly 130 essays I wanted to finish grading before the weekend ended, but at the end of the day, I cherish the opportunity to provide feedback to every one of my students. And shout out to Google Classroom for making that back and forth conversation SO incredibly easy. 21^st Century Learning, for the win!

Anyway, I told myself that I would write a new This I Believe essay each year to share with my students as we began this project. Last year I wrote about running in the rain as a means of conveying the belief that the magic happens outside of our comfort zones. This year, I took one look at my overflowing letter basket to know that handwritten letters would be my vehicle to talk about the idea that it’s not necessarily the words we say that mean the most, but the time given to physically writing them out.

I believe in handwritten letters.

In a world that is so laden with technology, the seemingly simple act of a handwritten thank-you note or birthday card tends to be replaced with a quick text message or a Facebook post. Sure, the ease with which we can type out a text is a definite convenience in our jam-packed, busy lives, but there is something about putting pen to paper that makes whatever is being communicated even more personal. It’s the loopy way she writes her L’s, or the way his handwriting is only legible if we close our left eye that forges a connection more special and long-lasting than opening a Snap.

Both of my grandmothers were (and are) big on the art of handwritten letters. My dad’s mom lives in Philadelphia, and at the start of each new month she sends me a simple note, often written on a piece of scrap paper, wishing me a happy month. She has never missed a birthday, nor a holiday. And I’ve got a whole basket overflowing with 25+ years’ worth of notes and cards scribbled in her thin cursive.

My mom’s mom passed away a few years ago, and she was without a doubt my favorite person on this planet. She lived just 10 minutes down the road and I saw her virtually every day, but she never overlooked the simple joy that came from looking through the pile of mail in the entryway and seeing a card personally addressed to me. Now that she is no longer with us, I cherish every word she ever wrote even more so than I did when I first read them.

Maybe it’s something about the older generation that has the insight that some of us “youngins” may be lacking. We grew up in a world of instant gratification, multitasking, and never-ending to-do lists. They grew up in a world that required patience and cursive and taking the time to do things right.

It’s not even what the letters say, as many of them are variations of the same message. It’s the time a person took to write me a tangible birthday card filled with sweet words as I celebrate another trip around the sun. The time a person took to encourage me through a tough season. The time a person took to congratulate me on a job well done. The time a person took away from doing something for his or her own benefit to do something that would make my day. I believe in handwritten letters, and I believe in taking the time to brighten someone else’s day by letting them know that they are more than worth a couple minutes of my precious time. It’s not the message that we remember; it’s the time and energy that went into it.

Many of my students’ essays unsurprisingly blew mine out of the water, and some of them have stories at 14 and 15 that I still can’t quite wrap my head around at 25, but I think if I expect my students to be vulnerable, I can do just that by modeling it for them. And I more than needed the reminder that came from reading these essays that teaching is such an absolute privilege, no matter how trying some of my days may be.

Oh, and how about those ASTROS! 27 outs to earning history. This World Series run has been nothing short of thrilling, and it could not have come at a better time for this city. Just like Jose Altuve, I literally love Justin Verlander, and here’s to hoping he can seal the deal tomorrow night!

This I Believe

And just like that, September is already over. The first six weeks comes to an end on Friday - meaning, I have been grading like a madwoman - and I'm still trying to figure out how that happened. Have I taught them anything worthwhile? Have I made any sort of impact on them? I can't answer that question, but I do know that my kids have been so much better behaved than last year. One of my fellow teachers told me it's because I'm a better teacher, and while I'm not entirely sure about that, at least I don't have the "first year teacher" label on me anymore. I still have my knuckleheads, of course, but I have far fewer headaches, and even my class of 34 knows when to get to work. Some days it takes longer than others, but hey, they are 14 and 15.

That being said, please be ready for this year's first round of Student Quotes to appear soon. I have collected a whole slew of student quotes, and though they are better behaved, they are still absolutely hilarious. And they make getting out of bed every day worthwhile. 

Anyway, one of the assignments I am currently (frantically) grading is what is called This I Believe. It's actually an international organization that combines writing with, well, beliefs. I love this essay because, while it's not in our 26-line expository format, it allows students to tell me about themselves. And let's be honest, who doesn't love writing about herself? My students got the chance to tell me about a belief they have, that leads to a bigger, more universal message. Some of them are funny, others of them are heartbreaking, but all of them have come straight from the heart. It's crazy to me how open some of them have been with this assignment, but I love it. I love hearing other people's stories, and this is certainly one way to do that.

I told my students that if I was going to ask them to write an essay, that I was going to do it too. It took me a little while at first, and I actually had to work backward. I went through several failed attempts before coming to that conclusion. I picked out my bigger "message," and then I thought of a story that would help me to convey that message. From there, I picked a belief, and I am sure none of you will be surprised by what I share with you guys. I hope to this weekend go through some of my students' essays, and share bits and pieces with you guys, but for now, I'll share with you all what I wrote.

I believe in running in the rain.

Running long distances where you can’t even tell where the rain stops and the sweat begins. So that your socks get that soggy feel to them. So that your neighbors look at you like you’re crazy, because it’s 6:30 on a Saturday morning and you’re on your second loop. And the rain is still coming down in sheets.

Let me explain. I’m a runner, and for a large portion of the population, that statement elicits shudders. But I’m not like a large portion of the population. I enjoy stepping outside with my shins taped up, my pink headphones lodged into my ears, and my neon Lululemon headband keeping any stray hairs in place, to run long distances. I enjoy pushing my body to the limit, and I enjoy the ‘me’ time. No text messages, no emails, and no Instagram to stop me in my tracks. It’s a time for me to think, to process, to clear my mind, to relieve stress. And a time to keep my eyes peeled for any new bumps in the road, both literally and figuratively.

Ideal running conditions are temperatures in the 40s or 50s, low humidity, clear skies, and maybe even a tailwind. If you’re lucky. Getting up before the sun on a day typically reserved for catching up on lost sleep isn’t easy even when the weather gods are on your side. Add in rain clouds and a headwind, and your pillow and blanket are suddenly holding you hostage. But those are the days when it’s most important to get out of bed and run through the streets of Wilchester West. Past the sleepy houses. Under the dusty streetlamps that only work half the time. Speeding up a little bit when you pass the neighborhood peacock on the back street.

How am I ever going to get better at running if the only time I do it is when the conditions outside are to my liking? I’ve been on countless runs where my legs were telling me to turn around and go back home. That I could try again the next day, or the day after that. And before you know it, it’s been raining for a week straight and you’re falling behind in your training plan.

It’s easy to make excuses. It’s easy to give up and take the road more traveled. It’s easy to stay in bed and promise myself that I’ll run later. What’s not easy is pushing through on my toughest days. Getting out of bed when it’s cold and windy. Getting out of my comfort zone so that I can get better, faster, and stronger. Doing the thing that other people might consider ‘crazy’.

I believe in running in the rain. Continuing to run when things aren’t going my way. Working to overcome obstacles, understanding that discomfort is when change happens. Pushing myself to be the best that I can be. Getting outside my comfort zone. Because that’s where the magic happens.

At first I was nervous about sharing my writing with my students. Which is silly, because they know I'm not perfect. I tell them that every day. Besides, they're 14 and 15, and they love hearing about me as much as I love hearing about them. And don't I share my writing with you guys all the time? Yeah. So, here I am. Putting my first, completely unedited draft out here for you guys to read. Because I fully believe in getting outside my comfort zone. Accepting a job at Bellaire was absolutely getting outside my comfort zone. And it was hard at first. Really hard, as you guys fully know. But it was also the best decision I ever could have made. And on that note, I'm signing off. I've got some essays to grade. I hope you have enjoyed a wonderful Hump Day!

Desk Job

Part of me feels as though this week is flying. The other part of me feels as though this week is dragging. My throat tightens a little bit each time I think about the fact that there are F I V E school weeks until the STAAR test, but yesterday also made me feel a bit more reassured about the whole thing, giving me some direction for these next five weeks. I mentioned that on Monday I administered a mock STAAR exam for my students. Because the end of the grading cycle is Friday, grades are due Tuesday at 4:00pm, and most of us have between 60 and 150 essays and short answer responses to grade between now and then, depending on how many English I classes we teach, we were gifted a professional development and grading day yesterday.

While preparing for a substitute is often more trouble than it is worth, I was very grateful for this day. Because I am going out of town this weekend, and the weather in Austin is supposed to be beautiful, my plan was to have all of my grading done before Friday. I want to go to Austin without feeling like I have to spend time sitting in my hotel room grading, especially when there are quite a few people that I would love to see, restaurants at which I would love to eat, and places that I would like to go. So, I actually graded all of my essays and short answer responses over the course of both Monday and Tuesday afternoon. I had to take my car back to the shop on Tuesday, but sitting there for an hour and a half gave me zero grading excuses. I certainly made myself at home while I was there, that's for sure.

However, because the real STAAR exam will have two readers per essay, we wanted to mimic that as much as possible. So many times a student will be between scores, and most of the time, it benefits the student. If you have no idea what I am talking about, just bear with me. I'll get to my point, I promise. We also went through the results of the multiple choice portion of the exam, highlighting areas of strength, and of course, areas of weakness. This is where my pride comes in. While there are still miles to go before we sleep in both reading and writing, my students really impressed me with their performance on the multiple choice part of the exam. There are certainly glaring areas of weakness, but some of the things we have hit pretty hard these past couple of weeks showed. And I finally felt that maybe, just maybe, I am getting through to some of them. Slowly but surely.

Not only am I a volleyball coach, but I'm a STAAR coach too

That being said, this professional development day simply reiterated the fact that I am not made for a desk job. What professional development means is basically that you sit in a room, operative word being sit, and hopefully learn something. Okay, that's putting it very simply, and most of the time it is very beneficial - yesterday certainly was! - but I am horrible at sitting still. I feel for my students, because it's hard to sit all day and listen. I got very antsy, as I hardly ever sit down during the school day. I am constantly on my feet, walking around, squatting down to chat with students, and so on and so forth. And that suits me. Time passes quickly, I feel productive, and it amazes me how slow the time goes when I am just sitting in a chair around a table, or at my desk watching students work. And while most of the day was extremely productive, there were of course moments when we got off-topic, or had to take a stretch break, or just had to share the hilarious things our students wrote in their essays. There were certainly some funny ones.

Another reason I can't sit at my desk, whoops!

So, the point I am trying to get at here is that desk jobs are perfect for some people. In college, some people are really good at holing themselves up in a cubicle and getting lots of work done. Some people can sit down for hours at a time and be as productive as I can be in maybe an entire day. And I admire you guys, because I kind of feel like my students in the fact that I have to get up every so often, walk around, get a snack, change the environment I'm working in, and so on. Even yesterday, after grading for maybe an hour straight and a half straight, I honestly felt as though I had run out of steam and couldn't do it anymore. Low endurance, I know. Anyway, as I was leaving school yesterday I couldn't help but be thankful for the job that I have. Because it's perfect for me. I may get home at the end of the day (okay, 4:00pm ...) and be absolutely exhausted, but for some reason sitting all day in professional development is often more exhausting for me. Maybe I do have to be "on" all day, but I like having to interact with other people all day. For someone who loves to spend time by herself, every day is a new challenge in terms of thinking quick and remaining patient and being flexible. Plus, high schoolers just fascinate me. I know I'm not that far removed from the high school world, but I love just listening to them talk and watching how they interact. It's better entertainment than the movies!

Sometimes the most random things make for a great blog post. Or at least, I think it's a great blog post. You guys might think differently, but then again, no one is forcing you to read it!

Workout

Back to our regularly scheduled fitnessandfroyo events. The Austin Half Marathon is this weekend! And before a half marathon, my week of workouts always looks the same. Yesterday a run was on the agenda, and today, swimming. I was greatly looking forward to this morning's swim, as last night's run was a bit on the painful side. I have somehow developed a callus on the underside of my pinky toe, making walking and running very painful. I'm trying to toughen it up so that I can sort of scrape it off before the race, because otherwise it is going to be a very painful 13.1 miles, even if it is through a very beautiful city, on what is supposed to be a gorgeous race day.

But just to be on the safe side, I made a Walgreens run and purchased a whole arsenal of supplies. If one remedy doesn't work, surely another will, right? Fingers crossed! And I know I'm all about the pictures on this blog, but I think I'll spare you this time around. 

And now I'm off to pack for Austin, make some Valentine-themed cookies, and get a much-needed haircut. See you guys tomorrow!

*Disclaimer: This post was typed before the haircut. It was posted after the haircut. Just keeping things gucci around here.